You work hard. VERY HARD to get the best for your child. You have talked to the teachers and have been to the school. However, you are still having the same issues. Your beloved child is still struggling, not being attentive in class, and not earning the grades you KNOW they can earn. Even more, our children are becoming so depressed and unappreciated that they are decided to take their own lives and the lives of others.
I have been a tutor and Academic Coach for 5 years to teens all over America that have had the same challenges that your child does. From my research and experience, I have found many insights that crack the code to what the real issue is.
As an individual human being that is apart of a collective, your child does NOT belong in the traditional public school system. I’m not saying that your child cannot be successful in that school, but they do not belong.
Picture this. In order to create the circus experience, human beings would adopt baby Elephants and train them to follow their instructions for the amusement of a crowd. Elephants CAN master the act of following instructions, but is that their natural role in the world? To amuse us? No. For instance, the African Elephant’s role in their environment is to pull down trees and break up thorny bushes, so that other animals can survive. They also use their tusks to create water holes in dry river beds. The Asian Elephant prevents the overgrowth of vegetation while spreading the seeds of the vegetation it eats. When an African or Asian Elephant is taken from
its habitat, they can’t do their jobs and therefore, put more work on other Elephants and negatively impact their natural environments and the animals they naturally live with.
Your child was born into this world with an innate role in society. You know what your child is good at. Do they write well? Are they great at building things? Can they dance? Are they great a Math? Are they great leaders? Are they great communicators? Whatever it is, that thing that they are good at is WHY they are here. It is their gift. It is the raw material they were given to build a great life. Their talent.
However, most of our institutions don’t really value that. The large majority of our institutions value the structures put in place to build a civilization. They value the work it takes to build a man made ECOsystem or ECOnomy. The thing is that we are supposed to work in harmony with natural ecosystems not create our own version of nature. Don’t believe me? Look at the state of Earth today. I wish it were different, but here we are.
The current public education system works for what it was made for. It’s perfect for training human beings to respond to authority in a specific way. It’s perfect for training humans to be on time, to follow the rules, to learn discipline. These things aren’t all bad, but sometimes you need to break the rules someone else has set for you and follow your own command in order to contribute to humanity in a more meaningful way.
How do we change? I am suggesting a purpose-driven education that aligns with people’s values, interests and passions. Many private and charter schools are already designed to focus on a child’s purpose. Thankfully, this type of education already exists in forms accessible to everyone. In the homeschooling realm, you have concepts like Unschooling which allows the child total freedom in their education. Rather than conditioning their child to conform to a social standard, their child is free to explore whatever topic they see fit while the parents nurture their child’s interests through experience, books and other educational tools. If you don’t want to go that far, regular homeschool is a good option as well. Even if these two forms of educating aren’t feasible for you, another option is finding a mentor or even a life coach (for teens) so your child can learn valuable lessons about their passions and themselves as a whole.
Source: stock.tookapic.com – CC0 License
For parents of children in the public school system you have a decision to make. Ultimately, if we’re going to raise whole children who are filled with purpose and love for themselves and what they do, we need to take a different approach. Too many of our youth suffer from lack of direction, depression and a low sense of self-worth. Many parents are already exploring different options. What will you do?
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Author: Brandon Berry
Academic and Life Coach for Teens and Young Adult